I found a coin from The Netherlands when I was 10 years old. I was camping about an hour east of Seattle, deep in the mountains, and as I walked barefoot through the camp sites I suddenly felt something underneath my feet that seemed out of place. I looked down to see a square coin, and couldn’t believe my luck. A coin, IN THE DIRT, from half-way around the world.
We live in a world overcome with images. But mostly, we carry these images inside of us, always comparing, because searching for an identity is the core of what it means to be human.
If God has called you to it. Do it.
There is a cost for every choice. And what you sacrifice or willingly offer up either wounds your soul or else repairs it. Because you are not just flesh and bone and blood pumping through veins. You are spirit. You are soul. You are deeply and irrevocably eternal.
I have heard the voices say, there is no love for you. And long have I leaned into those lies, and soaked in the evil of all those words. Continue reading Still He Stays: A Response to Fathers Day
Lean in and listen close. God can and wants to redeem your broken childhood.
I spent the better part of my life living in fear, shame, self doubt, and neglect. From the outside, everything seemed pretty ok. But when the doors were shut and the curtains closed, life was absolute hell.
I didn’t know it wasn’t normal.
I thought everyone feared their parents. I thought everyone self-harmed. I thought everyone fantasized about suicide. I thought everyone had debilitating nightmares about their parents killing them.
Sadly, my story isn’t unique. There are so many people who have survived broken and abusive childhoods. And some stories are much worse.
I clung to God through my childhood and adolescence. Praying he would step in and redeem my story. And he did.
It took a long time. And it didn’t look the way I thought it would. Because I had a lot of healing to do. And I needed to learn some hard lessons about my value and boundaries and what a Biblical response to evil should look like.
Are you doubting God’s ability to redeem your story? I get it.
When you doubt. Lean on the stories of those who have gone before you. And cover yourself in the truth of scripture. And do not attempt to heal alone!!!! Join a Christian based recovery group like “Celebrate Recovery” and let people walk alongside you in your journey.
Listen. God doesn’t leave us. He might feel far away, but that doesn’t mean he is. Usually, when we feel God has abandoned us it means we have healing to do in our own hearts – the intimacy with God is gone not because HE is absent but because WE are broken.
Step out in faith. Share your story. Pray brave prayers over your life asking God to heal you. And choose to be vulnerable.
This is how you heal. This is how you let God heal you.
Healing is a choice.