I have heard the voices say, there is no love for you. And long have I leaned into those lies, and soaked in the evil of all those words.
Words. They matter so much. God spoke words and created a universe. God spoke words and redeemed humanity.
And all the broken things are words…words that lie. Words that steal life and joy. Words that kill. Words that weave dark thoughts into the in-and-out of your very breath.
And isn’t it true that you have to be brave just to consider choosing to believe that maybe, just maybe, God actually loves you. And when you start to believe it you change.
You change because you dare to open your eyes and see, like actually see, just how worth the blood of God you are. You dare to see that when God calls the broken he doesn’t just put them to work, he works himself deep inside them and changes them from the inside out. And he invites history itself to witness this transformation.
You don’t offer humanity a front row seat to redemption if it’s not real. Liars always hide. Liars always hide.
He didn’t hide anything.
And he didn’t even just reveal himself. He also stayed. God stayed.
Because God doesn’t hide himself ever. He is in the business of being seen.
I used to think that God turned his face unexpectedly. Like if we disappointed him or sinned too much he just could not bear to look at us any more.
But I’m learning that what we learn from our fathers is not a true reflection of The Father.
God isn’t like any earthly father. No matter how good or how bad our experience, he is incomparable.
He never grows weary. He never tires of listening to us, of loving us. He never stops longing for intimate relationship with us.
He never fails. Never gives up. Never wishes we were someone else.
And he doesn’t turn away when we are in pain. He doesn’t leave. He doesn’t leave.
And he doesn’t fail to defend us before wicked accusers. Doesn’t ignore us when we weep and our hearts break open into deep sobs before him and we cry our tears into puddles of mud while we sit in them and let the cold water numb our skin.
He isn’t disillusioned by our instagram posts either. Doesn’t choose to only see one side of us at a time: he sees all of us and still…he…stays…
This is what I know that I know that I know…You change because you dare to open your eyes and see, like actually see, just how worth the blood of God you are.
You dare to see that when God calls the broken he doesn’t just put them to work, he works himself deep inside them and changes them from the inside out.
And he invites history itself to witness this transformation. He invites us to witness our own transformation.
Today, it’s ok to grieve. It’s ok if the word “father” burns on your tongue like an ember in a flame. It’s ok if wrapping your mind around an ever-loving Heavenly Father seems laughable.
But don’t stay there.
Dare to wrestle with what God calls himself: Father.
Dare to trust the name God gave to help us understand his very heart for us.
Love changes everything. And a Father’s love, changed the world, changes you, and it changes me…