Listen to me. We are NEVER going back (R-rated)…

Let go of the people who say they love you but hold everything against you. Because true love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.

Let go of the people who tear down your dreams with wild words of incapable fears. Because real love always hopes.

Let go of the people, even the family and old friends who never asked you about yourself. (Your heart will break into a thousand pieces. But in the falling away, you will find that those pieces were already broken. And they were already cutting you. And that true healing starts when you start saying NO what was causing the wounds in the first place.) And the only people who will be mad at you for setting boundaries will be the people who benefited from you having none in the first place.

Put your shoulders back. You are priceless. You are worth the blood of God. You are made of the stuff of eternity.

And you guys…We are never going back.

We are never going back to the fear and the shame and the endless cycle of abuse.

We are never going back to the gifts given with smiles and hidden agendas.

We are never going back to the half ass promises and the fake tears and the lie upon lie upon lie.

We are never goin back to all the suicidal thoughts and pressures. To the evil that lurks in your mind and convinces you that it’s you, you are the crazy one. You are the one who needs help. You are the one who is deranged.

We are never going back to the guns pointed. To the knives raised against a neck. To the bruises. To the hate. The hate. The hate.

And we are certainly never going back to the brick and mortar where all the evil lives and hides behind the perfect lawn and the perfect doors and the perfect decor and the mountains of presents under the tree. (And who would ever look at all that and guess it’s all just tainted with savage, relentless hate.)

We are never going back to the “You are such a fucking bitch” or “You’re a disgusting slut” or “God could never love you”.

We are never going back to the running through the dark rain at midnight trying to find a safe place. We are never going back to threats of self-harm.

Let them be.

LET THEM BE!

They have the same choices as you. They have the same God of the Universe to reach out to, the same opportunities for growth and change.

THEY DONT WANT TO CHANGE.

They like how they are. Like their power. Like who they worship: themselves.

You want to know what evil looks like? It looks like a mother who is praised in public and bruises in private. It looks like a man who stands alongside injustice, instead of against it.

IT IS EVIL. IT IS WRONG. IT IS SHAMEFUL AND REPULSIVE. And God’s heart burns with anger at the injustice of it all.

And this is the result of all that was hidden for so long: suicide attempts, depression and anxiety, eating disorders, domestic violence, broken families, jail, heroin and a line of white powder snorted off a kitchen counter. It looks like DUIs, hidden abuse, teen pregnancies, abortion, sexual promiscuity, cutting, and chronic lying. It looks like kids who never thrive. It looks like kids who struggle to grasp that they are worth even common decency.

Actually, it kind of looks “normal”.

Put your shoulder back. You are priceless. You are worth the blood of God. You are made of the stuff of eternity.

And we are never going back…

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Published by

Alicia Dean

Truth seeker and story-teller.

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